The ADHD Solutions Blog

The Issues List

Uncertainty is a productivity terrorist.  It's the unseen enemy.  You don't know what you don't know, so you can't fight it.

Uncertainty is a very common reason for procrastination.

One of my clients started a small business last February.  She is currently in the process of entering eleven months worth of financial data.  Why?  Because she put it off until the last minute.  Why? Because she wasn't sure what she needed or how big of a project it would be.    She wasn't sure where to start, so she didn't.

One of the most useful tricks I picked up as a project manager is the Issues List.  The best way to nail down that swirling cloud of uncertainty is to maintain a list of all the things about which you are uncertain.  Just get out a sheet of paper and start writing them down.

My client's issues list looked like this:

  • What do I need to keep track of?
  • Who will be doing my taxes and what format will they want?
  • What software should I get?
  • Can I just hire someone to do this for me?
  • What is my deadline?

Naming your issues gives them form so you can deal with them.  Once you know what the issues are, you can start resolving them.  And start making progress.

Scholarships for ADHD-friendly camps

Another reason to join CHADD:  scholarships to ADHD-friendly summer camps for your kids.

CHADD is offering scholarships of up to $8,000 to children with ADHD for attendance at specialty summer camps.  The program is open to children of CHADD members only.

For more information, visit the scholarship page on CHADD's web site:  www.chadd.org/Content/CHADD/Membership/SummerCampAward/default.htm.

Harrisburg ADHD Support Group meetings

Dauphin County CHADD has recently split into two support groups: one for parents and caregivers of children with ADHD, and the other for adults who have ADHD themselves.  Both groups meet at the East Shore Library, Harrisburg PA, downstairs in Meeting Room B.

The next meeting for parents and caregivers will be held Thursday February 5 from from 6:00 -7:30 PM.

The next adult ADHD meeting will be held on Wednesday February 11 from 6:00 -7:30 PM.

For directions and more information, visit their web page at www.chadd.net/119.

These groups are a great local resource and are worth checking out.  There are speakers at some of the meetings, and others center around support and information sharing.   Anyone with an interest in ADHD is welcome and encouraged to attend.

The Perfect blog post

Now that I’ve finally got my blog set up, I feel a lot of pressure to make my first post totally amazing since I procrastinated for so long.   It has to be a perfect vignette of me as a coach, everything I stand for, everything I believe.  All in 500 words or less.  Right?

Seems like a great time to write about perfectionism.

After all, the thought of having to write an endless series of brilliant, well articulated posts is what kept me from starting this blog in the first place.  It’s kept me from getting a lot of things done, actually.

Like a lot of people with ADHD, I really struggle with writing.  It’s hard for me to organize my thoughts.  But I discovered recently that perfectionism is my biggest obstacle.   So I decided to do something about it.

I just finished reading a fabulous book called "Too Perfect:  When Being in Control Gets Out of Control", by Allan E. Mallinger, M.D. and Jeannette DeWyze.  From it, I learned that perfectionism is actually a form of obsession.  That got me thinking about ADHD and co-existing conditions.  Most people with ADHD also have something else, like depression or anxiety.  Or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  Even if the symptoms aren't severe enough to warrant a clinical diagnosis, the tendencies can be there and should be dealt with.

Obsessive traits can also be a reaction to ADHD.  I'm certain that I was not obsessive as a child.  I was quite sloppy, actually.  My perfectionism was a learned response.  I suffered a lot of humiliation from my ADHD symptoms and resolved to overcome them.  I've had to work really hard at it, and I might have gone a little overboard with my desire to get things right, since I messed up so many things in the past.

In "Too Perfect", the authors' premise is that perfectionism results from a need for control.
“A disproportionate need for control - and an overwhelming fear of the uncertainty that can exist in uncontrolled situations - can lead [one] to adopt paralyzingly rigid roles almost like armor against life's uncertainties."

Can you see how this might be related to ADHD?  How perfectionism can become a defense against the chaos of impulsivity and weak executive functioning (memory, organization, planning skills, etc.)?

Here are some strategies that may help:

  • Become aware of the negative ways perfectionism affects you.  Many times it’s subconscious.  You might think you’re being effective, but the cost is probably higher than you realize.  A few of the problems the authors address in the “Too Perfect” book are procrastination, missed deadlines, pickiness, difficulty making decisions, avoiding commitments, lost opportunities, general dissatisfaction with life, guardedness in relationships, and constant worry and ruminations.
  • Accept that life has time constraints, and that it’s reasonable to be “good enough” given the deadline and your other commitments (like family, and sleep).
  • Look for role models.  Notice how people you admire get things done – and what they leave undone.
  • Recognize when you’re being nitpicky.  And stop.  Tell yourself, “I don’t want to be a perfectionist.  I am choosing to let this one go.”   You might set up some practice situations for yourself.  For example, resolve to write one email every day without revising it (this worked especially well for me).  Notice how much more efficient you are.
  • See the positives.  You’re probably an expert at seeing the flaws in your own work and everything else around you.  Make it a point to notice more positive qualities than negative.  For everything you see that you don’t like, find something you appreciate.
  • Put things into perspective.  See the forest instead of the trees for a minute.  Are those details really important?  Is anyone even going to remember ten minutes later?

Regardless of whether it’s part of a coexisting condition, a reaction to being bitten too many times by a lack of attention to detail, or caused by the disorder itself, perfectionism is often part of having ADHD.  If you can relate, I highly recommend the book  "Too Perfect:  When Being in Control Gets Out of Control".

Welcome!

This is a blog about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).   Or more specifically, solutions to some of the challenges ADHD presents.   I’ll be posting tips, links to articles, and some general insights that I hope you find useful.  Thanks for stopping by!  Hope to see you again soon.

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